Everywhere you turn these days there is a mainstream media article, or blog post, or even a YouTube video on how to make your relationship stronger. You’re reading such a post right now. One thing most of them have in common is the insistence on the importance of compromise and sacrifice.
They are not entirely wrong about this as to make it work you might have to give up on a few things to make your partner comfortable. However, this does not mean that you indiscriminately give up all that makes you happy and makes you the individual you are for someone else. So where do you draw the line? Here are eight instances.
Healthy friendships are one of the biggest bones of contention in relationships. Your partner for some reason or other may not like your friends. For the most part, this could be a legitimate concern especially if your friends are not genuine or are not a good influence. However, if your partner is constantly critical about a perfectly healthy and supportive friendship, then that is a warning sign that you should heed.
Whoever said blood is thicker than water knew what they were talking about. Your family is probably the only group that can promise and then deliver on forever. So if your relationship threatens those powerful bonds, then there is a lot to worry about.
You should never give up on your dreams or career aspirations for anyone. Not even your prince/princess charming soulmate. There are, of course, a few exceptions where you may decide to put your aspirations on hold for stability. Taking a break is fine. However, if your discussions about this do not include specific timelines on when you get to go back to chasing your dreams, then you need to be ready to fight for what’s yours.
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Faith is one of those things that could either make or break your relationship. It also happens to be one of the few traits or values where both partners should be on the same page if things are to work out. If you and your partner disagree on these beliefs, then there will be trouble down the line. If you feel pressured to compromise your stance, then the chances are that you will end up feeling resentful which is always toxic. So find out early enough where your partner stands then take your position and stick to it.
Exclusivity is another one you both need to agree on. Maybe your partner wants to be in an open relationship, and you are not fond of the idea. Or maybe itis the other way around. If either of you has to compromise, then the chances are that someone or you both will end up getting hurt. So if you find yourselves not coming to an agreement, you might want to consider ending things before it is too late.
Having healthy self-esteem is something of great value in an age where societal ideals of beauty and perfection constantly bombard us. It is, therefore, a treasure that you should guard at all costs. If any relationship threatens this security and sense of self-worth that you have built for yourself, then it is not worth it.
Being a couple does not mean that you lose your right to develop as an individual. That is where the value of time alone comes in. It doesn’t mean that you are pushing your partner away or avoiding spending time with them. It just means that you want to work on yourself as a separate entity so you can give your partner the best of love.
If you have something on your major no-no list, then you should never compromise on it. It could be a pet peeve, a major deal breaker or even a non-negotiable trait that your ideal partner must have. If you are about to get into a relationship, you should never compromise on these. It doesn’t matter how good the rest of their personality is. When the warm fuzzy feelings wear out your will be left dealing with all those things you truly cannot stand.
It is important to remember that you are still an individual with needs and interests much as you are in a relationship. It is also crucial to understand that it is not healthy to make other people happy at your own expense. These eight things should, therefore, be guarded at all costs, even if it means losing the relationship. It sure beats losing yourself.
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